Out of Place
by bellendp
Summary: Puck struggles to find where he fits in. "He doesn't deserve a happy ending, and he's dreaming if he thinks he can have it." Puck/Finn friendship, Puck/Quinn, Puck/Emma. Companion piece to "Sweat" in Puck's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**AN**: This is a companion piece to my story "Sweat" from Puck's POV. You do not have to read that one to understand this, though! Please note that this goes somewhat AU early in the season; in keeping true to "Sweat," which was written in September, everything that aired after that is not a part of this story.

This story never would have happened if it weren't for all the wonderful readers who reviewed, favorited, and alerted "Sweat." When I wrote "Sweat" it was for me, and I posted it on whim. A million thanks to the early reviewers who left such kind words and who asked for this story to be written!

When I sat down to write this story, I thought it would come as easily as the last. It turns out Puck had a lot longer to go to get to the same place, so this will be a couple of chapters; I have 6 written and am nearing the end. This is pretty epic for me as I usually write one-shots, and sometimes it went on hold for weeks at a time. Each time I got stuck, I would be inspired to keep at it by the readers who continued to find "Sweat" and tell me how much they enjoyed the story, and how much they wanted more.

I hope that this lives up to your expectations!

**Disclaimer**: Glee and its characters do not belong to me.

* * *

Chapter 1

* * *

"The wheelchair kid is right, that Rachel chick makes me want to light myself on fire but she can sing."

It pains him to say it, but Puck knows that Rachel is the best of them. If he wasn't actually _enjoying_ being a part of Glee (and he is, it isn't just that chicks and cougars alike dig guys who can sing, although his stock has gone up significantly between winning at football and performing) he'd revel in Rachel Berry's self-imposed exile from the group she helped make great and not say a word. There is nothing he can think of that would make him happier than the see her face crumble every day when she watches the Glee kids. The sad truth, though, is that he loves singing, and he knows that if they can't win, Figgins will shut down the club.

The thing is, Puck hates Rachel Berry. He doesn't put her down to make himself look better and keep the social hierarchy in place, like the Cheerios, and he isn't jealous of her relationship with Finn like Quinn is (ok, just a little). He isn't even like those weird religious kids who hate her because of her two gay dads.

Puck has despised Rachel Berry since the sixth grade.

He was always a neat kid—not freakishly neat, he just liked things to be in their place and showered every day and didn't wear clothes from the dirty hamper. Not a big deal. But Rachel Berry, she just had to butt in where she wasn't welcome.

One day at lunch someone asked to copy his homework, and he pulled out a folder—homework on the left side, handouts and notes on the right—and passed the assignment over. When the kid doesn't have a pencil, he reaches in his backpack and grabs one out of the side pocket—sharpened, because he hates dealing with the noise and the mess of classroom pencil sharpeners.

No one noticed or cared if he took a little more care with his things than other kids. Not until Rachel Berry.

After watching the homework exchange, she leaned over from her table and spoke—loudly—to him. "You know, Puck," she said in her annoying, bossy, in-everyone's-business voice, "Your obsessive neatness probably stems from your need to control your surroundings as a result of your unfortunate family situation."

Puck was frozen. Did she just call his family situation _unfortunate_? The girl with the two gay dads who help nurture her stupid obsession with everything her, and his _situation_ is the strange one? Tons of kids have deadbeat dads.

The silence was broken by some whispers and giggles, and Puck just knew that everyone was cataloging his "obsessive tendencies" and _judging him_ and it was all because of stupid Rachel Berry.

His right hand moved almost before he could think and there were chunks of dark brown, Coke flavored slushie all over her face and ugly sweater. People laughed—some of the guys were actually howling—and others patted him on the back and Rachel Berry looked crushed. No one remembers what she said to him.

After that, Puck slushies Rachel Berry once a week.

* * *

Finn has been Puck's best friend since he was eight. They were both in the "Special Care" after school program, which is a just a fancy way their school had for labeling kids that needed extra tutoring to keep up. Puck was already a year behind other kids his age, and the teacher called his mom and told her that if he didn't get some extra help, he might be held back this year.

Puck's problem is letters.

He doesn't know why, but he just can't get them in the correct order. He struggles with every assignment, and works at it on Monday and Wednesday afternoons in SC classes. Every time he thinks he has it, the teacher gently corrects him and shows him which letters are out of place. He begins to despise the words—"out of place"—and his desire to make sure every single letter is _in_ place translates to first his lunch bag, then his backpack, and finally his bedroom.

His letters continue to be in the wrong place.

Finn isn't like him. Finn letters are just fine, it's his "reading comprehension and verbal skills" that need work. Since they have different "needs" and different teachers helping them, Finn and Puck don't end up talking until one afternoon when the fire alarm goes off.

They end up standing next to each other on the playground as fire fighters inspect the school, and Finn starts talking to him. He learns Finn's opinion of lunch that day (the pizza that tastes like cardboard is gross but he loves the chocolate milk pouches) what he wants to be when he grows up ("A delivery man, or maybe a plumber!") and then Finn tells Puck about his family. When finds out Finn doesn't have a dad, either, he decides they should be best friends. When he tells Finn so, Finn shrugs and says, "Sure."

After that, when they're waiting to be picked up after SC ends they wait together and talk. Finn's mom is always on time; Puck's only shows up when she's single and sober enough to remember.

Mrs. Hudson starts driving him home, at first to his house and then to Finn's place to hang out. He thinks she's awesome and starts to wonder why his own mom doesn't act like her. He knows that dead is different (better) than gone, but he decides that maybe being a single-mom isn't a good enough excuse.

Puck gets really good with letters, but Finn is still struggling and he doesn't want to leave him in SC alone. It's difficult to purposefully put things in the wrong place when he knows where they belong, but he does it for Finn.

One day while they're waiting for Mrs. Hudson to drive up Finn tells him that he's "graduated" from SC classes and doesn't have to go anymore. Puck's letters are perfect for the next 6 classes and Mrs. Wilkinson tells him that he doesn't have to come anymore, either.

* * *

Ever since they became friends, Puck has seen his role as Finn's unofficial protector. He beats up anyone who makes fun of Finn. It earns him the reputation of a bully, but he doesn't care. It's worth getting his reputation and his clothes messed up for his best friend.

Puck also does his best to make sure Finn never feels stupid. He remembers how bad it felt before he got the letters in the right place and he won't ever let that happen to Finn. If Finn says something dumb he pretends it makes sense and tries to subtly correct him. When they get their report cards and Finn does much worse than him, Puck asks him for help studying and they slowly learn it all together.

When Finn starts acting weird, Puck notices. Finn gives him a bullshit excuse about missing football because his mom is having her prostate removed (what kind of excuse is _that_, Puck wonders, before forcing himself to pretend to believe it) and Puck follows him to find out the truth.

What he finds is the worst betrayal he can imagine.

This is worse than when Finn spilled soda pop all over his bedroom, or kicked mud at him during practice, or even when he started dating Quinn Fabray after Puck told him that he thought she was hot.

Finn is hanging out with Rachel Berry.

Puck goes into his room and pulls out his stack of scrap paper. He rips the paper in the perfect little squares as he fumes. He is still angry.

He goes on a brutal run for two hours, but still cannot being himself to forgive Finn. His best friend, his _brother_ he thinks sometimes, and he can't understand _why_.

Why Rachel Berry? That girl who mocked him in front of everyone, who took his neatness (he'd always be _proud_ that he had everything firmly in its place, before) and made it something bad and different. Made him different, made him feel _out of place_ among his peers.

He has never been that jealous of Finn before. Sure, he's the golden boy. No one cares that he doesn't have a dad or that he's not that smart, teachers like him, the guys look up to him, the girls all flirt with him and Quinn Fabray is dating him. It might sting a little, to see his best friend getting everything he wants, but he believes that Finn deserves it, all of it. He thinks Finn deserves more than him and he's been grateful for the past ten years that Finn hasn't figured that out.

But now, knowing his best friend ditched him for _Rachel Berry_—for the first time, Puck hates him a little.

He slushies Rachel twice that week and feels a little better.

* * *

It gets worse. Finn refuses to drop Glee—to drop Rachel Berry. He's got this whole new group of friends in the Glee Club now, and not a single day goes by when Puck doesn't see him chatting it up or walking to class or laughing with Rachel Berry.

When Rachel Berry joins the Celibacy Club he is stunned, but thinks it's nothing less than justice that she gets paired with that nerdy hornball for the balloon exercise. He wonders if she thought she could strut right in and take Finn away from Quinn the way she's done to him.

When Rachel Berry gives her little speech about girls wanting sex too and struts out of the room in a skirt that isn't half as short as Quinn's, Puck watches Finn's eyes watching her.

* * *

The Glee Club performs in front of the school.

Puck knows he isn't the only one hoping for them to fail horribly, for the club to die a swift death, and for Finn to come to his senses. He's destroying to fragile hierarchy that rules the school and everyone knows it.

He's surprised to hear a single voice cheering when Figgins makes his announcement—he wonders who it is, did she just say "Glee kids _hooray_"?—but from where he's sitting he can only see the top of a red head.

He forgets about it as soon as the music starts. Berry's skirt is actually tiny this time, and Finn is all over her. Finn is on stage dancing with, rubbing on, and thrusting at Rachel Berry and it is killing Puck. Worse, they're actually good, which means Finn won't leave the club and will continue hanging out with them, with _her_, instead of with his best friend.

When they're done and most of the school—even the rest of team—is on their feet, cheering, Puck sits and thinks about how he's just lost his best friend to Rachel Berry and how no amount of slushies can fix this.

* * *

Chapter 2 Preview:

_He thinks that this is wrong and he shouldn't be kissing his best friends's girl, but it feels so good to get the prize for once and he remembers Finn fake banging Rachel fuckign Berry on stage in front of the whole school and he pulls Quinn in closer and deepens the kiss. _

Should be posted sometime next week!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Glee and its characters do not belong to me.

* * *

Chapter 2

* * *

Puck gets drunk under the bleachers that night, his mom's current skum of the week's favorite bottle of whiskey in his hands. He's almost finished the bottle when his phone rings and it's Quinn Fabray. He slurs a greeting and can almost hear her sneer as she cries, "Are you _drunk?!_ That is not the way to fix this. Come over, _now_, and be sober enough to plot."

He snorts, like that's gonna happen, and she sighs and says, "_Fine_. Well, at least bring me something to drink." She hangs up before he can answer.

Feeling curious—does she actually have a plan that will get him his best friend back?—he starts walking in the direction of her house. He passes a Shop-and-Go on the way and stops in to buy some alcohol. He doesn't know what Quinn likes but he figures wine will do, and he's about to pick out bottle that he's seen Mrs. Hudson have before when he remembers that Quinn picked his best friend over him and that she didn't even say please.

He turns abruptly to the cheap section and grabs the first thing he sees.

When he gets there she orders him into the family room—"My parents are supervising an overnight retreat at Church, bring the wine in."—and he figures out pretty quickly that Quinn has no plan, she just wants someone to bitch too. She starts to drown her sorrows in the wine and the more she drinks, the more she cries, so Puck feels the need to get even drunker to avoid dealing with her.

When she starts wailing about how that Rachel girl isn't even that skinny and calling herself fat he stops her. "Jesus, Quinn, you're not fat, you're fucking hot and everyone knows it. Stop whining."

She looks up at him, and her lashes are all wet and her eyes are big and she says, "Really?" and climbs on top of him and starts kissing him. He thinks that this is wrong and he shouldn't be kissing his best friend's girl, but it feels so good to get the prize for once and he remembers Finn fake banging Rachel fucking Berry on stage in front of the whole school and he pulls Quinn in closer and deepens the kiss.

The next morning when he wakes up Quinn is dressed and serious. "We're not talking about this. I'm joining Glee and getting my boyfriend back from that skank. You need to leave."

Puck knew it was too good to last—anyone can see Finn's a much better catch then him—and quickly gathers his clothes.

* * *

True to her word, Quinn really does join Glee, and she brings Santana and Brittany along, too. Puck wonders if she's stupid for not figuring out that it's too late or if she smart for not giving up as easily as him. He figures he'll find out.

He sees Finn and Quinn together more now, and instead of fighting about Glee they seem really happy. Rachel's still around, but Finn doesn't spend that much time with her and Puck's happy for Quinn, he is, but Finn is still barely giving him the time of day.

He hears from Santana that the girls are doing their best to sabotage Glee, and where he'd normally be protecting Finn, this time he's rooting for the saboteurs.

Quinn and the Cheerios joining Glee changes things, though. If Finn, Quinn, Santana and Brittany are doing it, it's suddenly not such a bad thing. It's not like Puck wants to join, he's just always loved singing, and if they can do it, he can too, and he won't seem different.

He feels bad about what happened with Quinn but knows he can't tell anyone, so he starts being as much of an asshole as possible to Santana until she breaks up with him. He knows it's the right thing to do and doesn't even correct her assumptions about his financial planning skills. He's glad to be free of the guilt. He never thought of himself as a cheater, but he guesses he is now.

* * *

Puck asks Coach T if he can join his and Mr. Schue's acapella group. It isn't just about the cougars (although he's definitely been appreciating their attention since his break up)—he wants to sing. He's kind of embarrassed, having to sell himself to Coach; he's always keep this part of himself a secret and now he has to fake confidence in order to get a chance. He thinks he does ok, though, he manages to say his carefully prepared lines—"I play guitar and actually I'm a really good singer"—in a confident tone and Coach says yes... and some confusing and awkward rant about his girlfriend getting hot fo singers. Weird.

Then he finds out Finn is joining, too, and he can barely contain his excitement Maybe, just maybe, now that they'll have Acafellas to bond over, he'll have his best friend back.

He didn't count on the fact that he was still kind of angry about Berry and Glee, and guilty about Quinn. He gets frustrated when Finn knocks into him during dance rehearsal—why can't he just stay in his own place?!—and picks a fight. Still, Mr. Schue isn't an awful coach, and by the end of practice not only are they good at the routine, he's pretty sure their friendship is back in place.

* * *

The performance is a rush. He feels free to give it his all; he isn't expecting any of his peers to be there, only an auditorium full of parents. If there's one good thing about Lima, it's the sheer volume of hot, unmarried moms looking for some young, sexy guys to bang to make themselves feel younger. If he has to wear mascara (and really, is that necessary?) and put his singing and dancing skills on display to have guilt-free sex with not-his best friend's girl, he considers it well worth it. The singing and dancing is kinda fun, and the mascara washes off. He hopes.

During his solo he scans the crowd for interested women, and he picks out a few he knows from pool cleaning, and a few he doesn't. He's pretty sure the blond in blue is married and the mother or one of his teammates, though, so he crosses her off his mental list. He's only into single chicks from now on.

He spots Coach S and thinks it'll been fun to mess with her—she looks uncomfortably intrigued and he's not sure whether to laugh or be a little creeped out. His gaze lands on a redhead who looks horrified and thinks it's too bad—she's kind of cute.

By the time he's leaving the school he has an appointment with a brunette from the sixth row for tonight, with perky blond from the back right tomorrow after school, and with a beautiful Latin woman that weekend. His plan is to go home, change out of the outfit and wash the makeup and sweat off before his rendezvous with "Call me Angie" at nine.

As he's leaving he spots the horrified-yet-adorable redhead talking to Coach T. He double takes—is she the mysterious girlfriend who Coach had been talking about? Coach said that Acafellas got her hot, but her reaction to his performance hadn't seemed positive. Not that it matters. He's not a one-girl man anymore, but he has decided not to help people cheat. He just doesn't have it in him.

His thoughts turn back to Quinn. Now that he and Finn are okay again, Finn can never find out. It would ruin everything and he has worked too hard to get his life put together perfectly. He puts the redhead out of his head and hurries home. No reason to keep Angie waiting.

* * *

**AN: **And if you can't guess, next time, Quinn's preggers!

Thank for reading! The next part is mostly written, but not totally, so I'm still open to incorperating feedback if you have any!


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